14 Ridiculous Maroon 5 Song Lyrics, From "This Summer's Gonna Hurt" To "Kiwi"

July 28, 2024

It's a science: Maroon 5 songs are insanely catchy and, in fact, perfect tracks for your summer playlist. But once you look past Adam Levine's frequent near-naked state of being in the band's music videos, some of Maroon 5's ridiculous song lyrics really start to stick with you. Because, whether you're a fan or not, you have to admit some of their lyrics are a bit silly. (And could use a little bit more feminism, too.) Take, for example, the lyrics of the band's sunny single, "This Summer's Gonna Hurt." Although I totally get the allure of falling for the wrong person, Maroon 5 describes the dilemma in a backwards kind of way. Or maybe it's just because if I see a grown man dancing like he's 17 years old, I walk away.

"I see her dancing on a fool / Like she's seventeen and cool," Levine sings. "She really thinks that she can move / But it's just nasty / I see her when I go to sleep / I check my phone when I am weak / She never posts anything deep / Cause she's so fancy."

In the 13 years since Maroon 5 launched onto the music scene, they've given us five studio albums and a lot of questionable lyrics. So many questionable lyrics that I've compiled the most ridiculous and ranked them for you.

14. "I'm at a payphone trying to call home / All of my change I spent on you." — "Payphone"

Exactly how much change do you carry?

13. "I didn't hear what you were saying / I live on raw emotion, baby / I answer questions never maybe / And I'm not kind if you betray me." — "Wake Up Call"

I don't care how flawless his abs are; never trust a guy who can't give a straight answer to a question.

12. "Try to tell you 'stop,' but your lipstick got me so out of breath." — "One More Night"

That is one powerful tube of MAC.

11. "Stuck in her elevator, she take me to the sky / And I don't wanna go down, go down." — "Lucky Strike"

The euphemism is not lost on me.

10. "The sex she slipped into my coffee / The way she felt when she first saw me." — "The Sun"

She slipped what into your coffee?!

9. "I just wrestle with you in my dreams and wake up making love to a pillow." — "Can't Stop"

I mean, we've all been there, but still.

8. "When I was fumbling through your dresser drawer forgot what I was looking for / Try to guide me in the right direction." — "Must Get Out"

Help me out here, Levine. Does the dresser have some deeper meaning?

7. "I count the ways I let you down / On my fingers and toes but I'm running out." — "Beautiful Goodbye"

Friendly tip: There's a calculator on your iPhone.

6. "Baby, I'm preying on you tonight / Hunt you down, eat you alive." — "Animals"

You know, cannibalism, the tried and true aphrodisiac.

5. "Baby you got me doing dirt, doing dirt, doing dirt." — "Doin' Dirt"

This expression just never caught on.

4. "I'm a man, be a woman now, ohhh." — "How"

In the midst of a power ballad, we get... this.

3. "Sweet kiwi / Your juices dripping down my chin / So please, let me / Don’t stop it before it begins." — "Kiwi"

Okay, this is one is definitely a euphemism, but that doesn't make it any less awkward.

2. "You chew me up / And spit me out / Enjoy the taste / I leave in your mouth." — "Shiver"

Nothing like the image of chewed food to get you in the mood.

1. "You can't light a fire, if the candle's melted." — "Unkiss Me"

The more you know, right?

Maroon 5 is an amazingly successful band with amazingly catchy songs that will be stuck in your head all day. Sometimes, though, it's better not to think too hard about exactly what you're singing, or you might find yourself cracking up in the middle of a power ballad.

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